Hey there adoring fans (Desi Davar and Olivia Conroy)!
If you haven’t been paying attention (shame on you…all 3 of you) on Friday night (Day 23) I was paid a visit by a gentleman caller. On Saturday morning, I said to that gentleman caller the number one sentence that every gentleman caller wants to hear…
“I had a great time last night sir, but now I must bid you adieu to go pick out a WEDDING DRESS!!!”
Yes ladies and gentleman (callers and non callers alike), on Saturday I tried on wedding dresses!
Do I have plans to get married any time soon? Nope. But who’s to say that I can’t have a blast trying on beautiful dresses and have strangers dote on me for no good reason (no I do not have a constant need to be the center of attention. Why do you ask?)? After all, the world could end in 42 days (or not…fingers crossed).
We started off with a column dress (let’s get real…we started off with Bloody Mary’s).
Then this little number called a “fit and flare” (or as I like to call it “do these feathers make my ass look fat? and flare”).
Then this guy that kind of looked like a nightgown (under impressed face)…
Then I had a talk with the sales woman Sharisse about my boobs.
“Sharisse, you call them wide set. I call them East-Wests. Tomato, tomahto.”
Then she brought out the big guns…
I didn’t necessarily find the perfect (fictitious) wedding dress that day…
…but I did have a ball (gown)!
The take away from this experience:
1. The bigger the skirt the smaller your head looks (in a good way).
2. The friends that you drag out to watch you try on wedding dresses when you’re not actually getting married (and tell you that you look pretty even though they don’t have to because you’re not going to buy any of them anyway) are SAINTS!
3. Bloody Mary’s + corset = heartburn
4. Gentleman callers may or may not love being called gentleman callers.
A big thanks to my buds Candice and Aleka for humoring me on a fantastic Saturday afternoon!
And a shout out to saleswoman Sharisse! Thanks for everything (boob talk included). Sorry for not buying anything. And don’t worry, if the world doesn’t end I’ll be in to pick up my bridesmaid dress for my buddy Mary Trotter’s wedding.