Day 1: Summertime…and the living is bored as Hell.

Hey there adoring fans (Rob Schiffmann!)

I’m back! For those of you who had no idea that I had a blog one time, welcome to my blog! Take your time to peruse through older posts about bathroom art, dog birthdays, and quarter life crisisis (I feel like this should be cry-c’s but not sure on spelling and since I’ve already googled peruse, I’m done googling for the day and I sure have cried a lot of c’s in my time…so…you know…applicable?).

66daysofSarah first started because I was moderately terrified about the world exploding at the end of the Mayan calendar, which was like what 2012? Holy hemorrhoids that was a long time ago. Back then I wrote about all things I wanted to do before we blew up/were captured by sex aliens, and I began the blog 66 days before our rumored apocalypse. When the world didn’t implode (high fives hobos!) I started to write about making my life more awesome instead, which was meaningful, and spiritual, and anecdotal and menopausal (ok, I take back that last one, it was totally not menopausal, period.  See what I did there? Bahaha. Still got it (that means two things)).

And now I’m writing because I’m flat out bored. I’m a 34 year old woman-child (why does man-child sound so much cooler? Dammit! I will shatter this glass ceiling of terms used for adults who act like starved-for-attention kids most of the time but still almost always pay taxes so they’re technically grownups, immaturity is not just a men’s club anymore!) who is down to 1.5 jobs for the summer and is about to tear her eyeballs out if she watches another Netflix original series.

So, (Disclaimer about reading my blog: I enjoy going off on tangents for long periods of time, I usually put these tangents in between parenthesis because I have a degree in Dance which means by law that I can only count to 8, and by nature missed out on valuable lessons like reading and writing. Much of my literary knowledge comes from reading Musical Theatre scripts where they use parenthesis a lot to describe how someone is feeling or the lighting of a particular tap dancer’s drug den, so naturally I figure parenthesis are perfect for this medium. In case it ever gets brought up, all of my religious beliefs comes from Musicals too, so I may have no idea how to look up a scripture ((sorry about it nut jobs who quote that stuff on Facebook…or make me read poems at wedding ceremonies…just kidding on that last one…love you cousin Jessica, your children are beautiful and smell like puppy dreams)) but I can tell you the colors of Joseph’s Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, and what Judas’ favorite disco song was. So I digress into parenthetical rants sometimes going as far as adding the super cute double parenthesis when I go even more off topic and is probably more grammatically incorrect as you can see with my Facebook/wedding hazing above. If you want to be reminded of the original sentence, look back to where the parenthesis start and you’ll be able to figure out the original thought. I’m like a choose your own adventure of lazy blogging!) let’s begin.

Why start writing again? Typically I have 4 to 9-ish jobs at a time and work far too much. I am a fitness instructor/dance-improv-acting-teacher/show producer/choreographer/director/writer who occasionally does stuff that people think is 100% real but is actually super fake (I can’t get into this last one because I’m sworn to secrecy…but the next time you hear or see strangers doing something that seems super real, know that it’s really me doing it for money…no it’s not porn, so stop asking me Larry).  But now because it’s summer time, most of my jobs are on hiatus and I need something to fill my days with besides napping, day drinking, and worrying about my moles.

So, I did a little calendar counting (phoned a friend to help me count past 8) and figured out that minus a gig I have coming up in August, there are 66 days between now and the end of my summer vacation. Since I’m always up for a challenge with an end in sight (and because I’m reading Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes and think to myself, if she can say yes for a year, surely I can write about boredom for 66 days…I mean we’re practically the same person mentally and physically….and don’t call me surely).

What you can expect from this blog…

  • adventure
  • mischief
  • dermatology

What you can’t expect…

  • distinguishable grammar
  • elegance
  • herpes

 

IMG_2931

Yep, that is a stranger’s thumb in the lower left corner…just kidding…it’s my friend Annalisa’s…I wanted you to think I was adventurous.

Day 1 and done!

One thought on “Day 1: Summertime…and the living is bored as Hell.

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