Hey there adoring fans (joshjohnallie!)
Happy New Year everybody!
I woke up this morning to the chimes, buzzes, and cowbells of all of my electronics trying desperately to notify me that 1134 people and counting think I am special today (and luckily no news of anyone finding that pesky body). Yes adoring fans (or any of you that are still interested in reading my blog after I took what seems like a 12 year binge drinking hiatus) today is my Birthday!!!!!!!!
Now, you may be saying to yourself, “Wow! Sarah sure does have a nice birthday, I mean January 3rd?! Every one of her friends must have tons of money to spend on buying her things, no one is out of town, the weather is always predictable, and no one is hungover from any number of historically epic drinking holidays that came prior to her date of birth! Next year I’m asking Santa if I can be birthed on January 3rd!!!!” Now settle down readers, I know January 3rd is sounding more and more amazing with each word I type, but the really epic date this year is January 4th!!!! “How could that be possible?!?” you say? Well, 10 years ago on January 4th of 2005, this little girl packed up her things, took her $500 of savings from pounding the asian-bistro-pavement of waiting tables at PF Changs China Bistro in Columbia Maryland, and had her dad drive her to her new home, New York City! Which means readers, that tomorrow…January 4th 2015…I can officially call myself a NEW YORKER!!!
I’ve come a long way since my first apartment in that tiny bedroom in Inwood. I’ve achieved some pretty amazing goals like dancing on Broadway, buying (let’s be real…financing) an iPad, performing my first one woman show, and finding the city’s best Mac and Cheese.
So, today on SixtySixdaysofSarah I am going to spread to you 3 readers out there, the wealth of knowledge I’ve obtained in these 32 years on the planet and 10 years living in New York City.
So here it goes…
1. Follow your creativity not your career. Your career will treat you like a bad boyfriend and never call when you want him too, and your creativity will treat you like a lovely older hispanic woman who likes to hug and cook you food if you take the time to join her in the kitchen.~ Amy Poehler, Yes Please.
2. You can’t spell friend without the word end.
3. Swishing coconut oil in your mouth for 20 minutes a day will prevent one from ever having to go to the dentist. (Disclaimer: Don’t try this in the shower the first time…unless you have always been curious to know what water boarding feels like)
4. I will last exactly 4 minutes if water boarded.
5. Don’t spend your time doing things that make you feel sad/sick/stupid/worthless when there’s something that makes you feel happy/healthy/smart/worthy out there. Unless it’s crack. Just don’t ever do crack.
6. You can paint regular nail polish over a gel manicure and nothing bad will happen.
7. A bird can fly through a window into your home. Panic. Try to get out by flying full speed at the same plexiglass window over and over again until it knocks itself unconscious, all the while never noticing the lovely woman in a bathrobe waving a flip-flop towards an open door. Take a breath and look around. Don’t be that bird. ~ Jen Sincero, You’re a Badass.
8. If you hold on to your old Actors Equity Association cards long enough..the color will come back around and you can use their bathrooms without having to pay your dues.
9. The exact age of lifting your 90 lb throbbing head off of your pillow to say “I can’t drink like I used to” is 31 years, 328 days, 4 hours, and 22 minutes.
10. Don’t bring up racism at Christmas.
There you have it. In this new year of 2015 and at the age of 32, I hope to reacquaint myself with this blog, and it’s mission to make life a little more awesome. I hope you’ll join me.