what i learned in 2014

Hey there adoring fans (joshjohnallie!)

Happy New Year everybody!

I woke up this morning to the chimes, buzzes, and cowbells of all of my electronics trying desperately to notify me that 1134 people and counting think I am special today (and luckily no news of anyone finding that pesky body). Yes adoring fans (or any of you that are still interested in reading my blog after I took what seems like a 12 year binge drinking hiatus) today is my Birthday!!!!!!!!

Now, you may be saying to yourself, “Wow! Sarah sure does have a nice birthday, I mean January 3rd?! Every one of her friends must have  tons of money to spend on buying her things, no one is out of town, the weather is always predictable, and no one is hungover from any number of historically epic drinking holidays that came prior to her date of birth! Next year I’m asking Santa if I can be birthed on January 3rd!!!!” Now settle down readers, I know January 3rd is sounding more and more amazing with each word I type, but the really epic date this year is January 4th!!!! “How could that be possible?!?” you say? Well, 10 years ago on January 4th of 2005, this little girl packed up her things, took her $500 of savings from pounding the asian-bistro-pavement of waiting tables at PF Changs China Bistro in Columbia Maryland, and had her dad drive her to her new home, New York City!  Which means readers, that tomorrow…January 4th 2015…I can officially call myself a NEW YORKER!!!



I’ve come a long way since my first apartment in that tiny bedroom in Inwood. I’ve achieved some pretty amazing goals like dancing on Broadway, buying (let’s be real…financing) an iPad, performing my first one woman show, and finding the city’s best Mac and Cheese.

So, today on SixtySixdaysofSarah I am going to spread to you 3 readers out there, the wealth of knowledge I’ve obtained in these 32 years on the planet and 10 years living in New York City.

So here it goes…


1.  Follow your creativity not your career.  Your career will treat you like a bad boyfriend and never call when you want him too, and your creativity will treat you like a lovely older hispanic woman who likes to hug and cook you food if you take the time to join her in the kitchen.~ Amy Poehler, Yes Please.

2.  You can’t spell friend without the word end.

3.  Swishing coconut oil in your mouth for 20 minutes a day will prevent one from ever having to go to the dentist. (Disclaimer: Don’t try this in the shower the first time…unless you have always been curious to know what water boarding feels like)

4.   I will last exactly 4 minutes if water boarded.

5.  Don’t spend your time doing things that make you feel sad/sick/stupid/worthless when there’s something that makes you feel happy/healthy/smart/worthy out there.  Unless it’s crack.  Just don’t ever do crack.

6.  You can paint regular nail polish over a gel manicure and nothing bad will happen.

7.  A bird can fly through a window into your home.  Panic. Try to get out by flying full speed at the same plexiglass window over and over again until it knocks itself unconscious, all the while never noticing the lovely woman in a bathrobe waving a flip-flop towards an open door.  Take a breath and look around.  Don’t be that bird. ~ Jen Sincero, You’re a Badass.

8.  If you hold on to your old Actors Equity Association cards long enough..the color will come back around and you can use their bathrooms without having to pay your dues.

9.  The exact age of lifting your 90 lb throbbing head off of your pillow to say “I can’t drink like I used to” is 31 years, 328 days, 4 hours, and 22 minutes.

10.  Don’t bring up racism at Christmas.

There you have it.  In this new year of 2015 and at the age of 32, I hope to reacquaint myself with this blog, and it’s mission to make life a little more awesome.  I hope you’ll join me.

Day 50: The rapist Tuesday…

Hey there adoring fans (Nici Dani)!

This post has nothing to do with rapists.  I just stole The Rapist joke from the Saturday Night Live Celebrity Jeopardy sketch where Sean Connery (Darrell Hammond) choses  the “Therapists” category but instead says “The Rapists”.  It’s quite funny, and terrible all at the same time.  This blog post title does however have to do with me self-therapizing myself today.  You see loyal readers, I had myself a realization walking home from the gym today.  It would have been quite an “eye opener” had it not been raining this afternoon, because based on what I remember from elementary school science is that rain water comes from the clouds which some how absorb that water from the rivers and lakes and if you’ve seen the Hudson there’s no way you would want to open your eyes in the rain here…unless your pupils are craving rat feces.  What is this realization you ask?  Hold your horses!  I’ll get to it after I show you how adorable Ruby is sleeping on the couch behind me…

ruby sleeps

Ok, realization time…

I started this blog originally because I was afraid of the world ending.  Then when the world did not end (thank you Jesus…and Space Zombies),  it evolved into a search for a happier healthier life (while the Space Zombies are at bay).  You know, turning the page to find a new chapter of Sarah?   And it’s been a fantastic journey so far.  I’ve stepped back and had a long hard (that’s what she said) look at my life and started making some changes…

I don’t want to look like this anymore…

fat hooters

So I started dancing, eating right,  and going to the gym.

class 4

I don’t want to be a slave to Musical Theatre anymore…

starlight express

So I stopped auditioning.

no audition

I didn’t want to live like a teenage slob anymore…


So I reorganized and painted my bedroom.

paint 19

I don’t want to stress out anymore…


So I started meditating…

meditation 1

Then, as I was brain storming for my next post on the way home from the gym, I finally noticed this pattern.   The problem is… I’ve been spending all of my energy  focusing on the things that I don’t want in my life and haven’t even scratched the surface of the things I do want in life.  Woah.  Go ahead readers.  Get out the dustpan to sweep up the pieces of your mind that has just been blown.

I started to honestly think about what it is I want in life, and not just the “I want to be happy” or “I want to be more stability” or “Can I just get some health insurance please?” things.  I started to think of my actual specific goals, the concrete things, and you know what?  I scared the s*it out of myself.  You see, I think that if I admit to myself or anyone else what I want, what I really truly want, and I don’t achieve it, then I will have failed.  And who wants to be a failure?  Isn’t life just easier if you don’t admit to what you want so that you don’t have to work really hard to get it, because if you don’t work really hard then you can’t blame yourself when you fail because you never tried anyway?  I mean, maybe I’m not good enough to achieve anything beyond being that girl that was on Broadway once and now thinks she’s a writer. Well Sarah, what’s the point of surviving the apocalypse (and Space Zombies) if you’re just gonna keep spinning on that hamster wheel?  It’s time to get down to business.

Here’s what I want for my future…(laugh all you want).

I want the world to read what I write.

I want to be in a movies.

I want to write movies.

I want to write books.

I want to create comedy.

I want to be a billionaire…so freakin’ bad.

And why the Hell not?!  Tina Fey did it.  Mindy Khaling did it.  That girl who wrote that show Girls that I don’t really like all that much (the show, not the writer) but good for her did it.  I can do it.  It’s time to stop running away from the don’ts and start running like Hell for the do’s.