Hey there adoring fans (Alleka and Kathleen)!
Previously on Sarah’s quest to fall in love before December 21st…
We last saw Sarah getting blown off (not in the good way) by a guy at a bar right after the hurricane (because he had a stupid girlfriend which he omitted from the 2 hour conversation that he and Sarah shared). So in her pursuit to find love, she decided to gather a couple of gal pals and hit the town at one of her favorite man hunting spots, The Gingerman, where the fellas have jobs and the ladies are few and only mildly attractive. Now, in order to properly man hunt, you have to do a few things to prepare…
Step 1: Shower and shave your legs. Or if you’re building has no effing hot water, use extra body spray and wear pants.
Step 2: Apply lots of black eyeliner. This lets the men know you are available (taken women often go for a soft brown liner and sweat pants) and although you look great for a 29 year old, you can pass for 25…
Step 3: Pick out the perfect man hunting outfit…
Not too fancy…
Not too 90’s…
Something just right. That says, “Hey there attractive man who appears to be heterosexual and employed. No, I’m not desperate to fall in love before the world explodes. And yes, my footwear is 1 part sneaker and 1 part wedge.”
Step 4: Floss. Nobody wants to fall in love with gum disease.
Step 5: Pour a bottle of Guiness into a travel coffee mug. Drinks are expensive.
Now you’re ready to man hunt!
Time to meet the cast!
We have Kathleen, a fellow actress who I like to bring man hunting (even though we usually just sit and talk to each other about the lack of men in the city instead of talking to actual men).
Edita, a restaurant manager, who is quite upset that the dang hipster bartender hasn’t poured her another beer yet.
And Alleka, an actress friend who has a boyfriend which makes her the perfect wingman (it’s always essential to bring along someone that is in a relationship because they’ll talk to the less attractive guys for you and you don’t feel bad about it cause they’re already getting tail on a daily basis).
After a few drinks and no luck talking to any men besides the bouncer, we decided to regroup and get some food at the Heartland Brewery. Where….
We met a bunch of really cool guys!
For my first technique of flirting, I introduced the guys to Flat Pam.
They sniffed her skirt (grape scented you pervs) and bought us a round of beers. Who knew Flat Pam would be such a hit with the fellas. Oh, that’s right. I did!
Next, I gave them my website for the blog. They were all particularly fond of my underwear drawer makeover.
And for my final technique I got really drunk and took one of them home with me!
To be continued…
(Maybe. We’ll see if bringing home a sexy stranger is the first step to falling in love before the world ends…not just the first step to a urinary tract infection)