Day 1/31: I don’t mean to w(h)ine…

Hey there adoring fans (Vaden)!

Now that I’ve organized my schedule (and retired my shot girl short-shorts) to where the first time in my life, I don’t work after 7pm, I’m baffled at why I’m still staying up so late every night?  A tip I took from The Happiness Project (great book…click the link if yo interesante in it) the author mentions how going to bed earlier every night made her happier and more productive.  Well, I want to be happier and more productive, but going to bed early at night hasn’t been possible and I couldn’t figure out why?  Then it hit me.  It’s all due to a little thing I call the cereal vortex...

The Cereal Vortex

Mmmm…I think I’ll have a bowl of cereal.

photonow I’ll just add some milk.



Oh no! I have all this milk left and I don’t want it to go to waste…


I’ll just add a tiny bit more cereal…


Whoops, too much!  Darn. I’ll just have to add a tiny bit more milk…photo



That 2nd bowl was equally as delicious…there’s still some milk left at the bottom…and children starving in China….what to do?photo

And this, ladies and gentlemen…

is how we slip into the cereal vortexphoto

4 bowls later…photo

We’re all familiar with the vicious cycle of the cereal vortex.  Sure, you might never leave your apartment on time, and may have to buy some elastic waistband trousers, but all in all the consequences are quite mild.   The more ferocious vortex to look out for is the wine/tv vortex…

The Wine/Tv Vortex

Ahhh, just a glass of wine before bed while I watch that DVR’d episode of Saturday Night Live… 


Huh, I actually liked the musical guest for once…


aww nuts, out of wine…


We’re only on weekend update?

Just a teensy bit more to finish out the episode…


I can’t believe Seth Meyers is leaving…what a doll!  I’m still on the fence about this Cecily situation…bring back Tina and Amy!


And then the episode ends and you still have a half of a glass of wine left.

What to do?

You check the DVR.


And decide to re-watch Modern Family.  It was great the first time around, so it should be even better the second time around…

photoAww crap, I just finished my wine and there’s still 10 minutes left…

Don’t judge me.


Dag-nabit!  These 30 minute shlows go by fast when you can sklip the commersals…  I still have a half of a glass of wine left (hiccup).  Luckily there’s a snew Parenthood on RIGHT NOW!


Oh, come on NBC!  Joe would SNOT leave Julia!  Snot after they pladopted that little Mexican!  Ay! Ay! Ay! I can’t take this…

and nowmy glass is emptly.






just in time for the 2:00 news…



If you are a victim of the Wine/Tv vortex like I am, call (212) 222-6160 for support (they deliver plus you get 20% off if you purchase and entire case!)

Day 227: R.I.P TV

Hey there adoring fans (Yolanda Suarez)!

A body in motion…stays in motion….

A body watching Frasier...stays watching Frasier.

2013-08-14 12.03.13

Dear TV,

It’s not you.  It’s me.  I still love you.  I have always loved you.  From my childhood summers of Nickelodeon and Sharon Lois and Bram’s Elephant Show.  Throughout my angst ridden adolescents and countless afternoons of MTV’s TRL, and after school specials.  And finally rounding out my adult life of Criminal Minds marathons, Late Night with Conan O’brien repeats, and the occasional Saturday night on Cinemax.   You have always been there when I needed you most.  But lately I feel like this relationship has become a little unhealthy.  Do you know how hard it is for me to get up and leave in the middle of Family Feud, never finding out whether the sassy black family from Jackson, or in-bread white family from Allentown wins the four door sedan?  It’s torture!  I’ve become an addict.  I want to see you all of the time.  I daydream about you all day, and nightdream about you all night.  I want to lay in your high definition light for eternity and catch every episode ever created of 16 and Pregnant.  Did you know that every episode is exactly the same?  Spoiler Alert : A girl gets pregnant at 16 and has a baby 9 months later.   Her boyfriend is always a loser, and hooded sweatshirts are acceptable attire for any occasion.  But it’s you TV.  You suck me in.  My obsession with you runs deep.    Deeper than the pain of my menstrual cramps on day 2 of my cycle.   The time has come to cut the cord.  I can’t do this anymore.  It’s not fair to either of us.  I need to go to bed at a reasonable hour and you need to stop playing 9 episodes of Frasier every night starting at 11pm.  I need to wake up in the morning and start my day without being sucked in by your temptress Rachael Ray and her 20 minute meals that are never suitable for vegetarians, and you need to stop letting Kelly Rippa be on TV commercials telling me there is enough time in the day for yoga, eating right, electrolux refrigerators and Colgate Total.  I need a break.  No more TV before 8pm, and no more TV after 1am.  I know it’s going to be hard on both of us my darling, but you know what they say… absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Goodbye TV…at least until the new fall lineup has been revealed.

Love always,

The New and Improved Grown-up Sarah

PS: Remember Sharon, Lois, and Bram’s Elephant Show?  No?!  Well I’m sorry that your parents didn’t love you.

Day 7: Previously…on Grey’s Anatomy

Good evening adoring fans (Abby Church and family)!

As you’ve probably read from my award winning blog (my blog has not won any awards), I must catch up on Grey’s Anatomy before the EOW.  Now, I know what most of you are thinking…

“Grey’s Anatomy?  Really?  Is that show still on?  I stopped watching after like the 3rd season.  I mean, the whole Meredith drowning and seeing Denny, (Izzy’s dead fiance), and super sick alzheimer laden mother thing?  And then the Izzy and George as a hot and sexy couple that can’t get it on because George is still married, and Izzy’s not over her dead fiance thing?  Sarah, you silly girl!  Why would you waste your time on this horrible show, when there are so many better TV shows to catch up on before the world ends?  Have you not seen Downtown Abbey?”

And you are 64% right!   Only, after the 5th season, it got really awesome again.  As of right now (season 7, episode 20),  Derek and Meredith are totally together, there are sick African babies everywhere, there’s about to be a lesbian wedding, and there are only 2 more episodes ’til the Season 7 finale!   Season finales of Grey’s Anatomy are like Christmas morning!  Except instead of a new walkman you get dead heart-transplant fiances, fatal bus accidents involving adorable cast members, and Hospital mass shootings (which I’m now realizing should not be in any way similar to Christmas morning….if it is in anyway similar to your Christmas morning, please contact the crisis hotline at at 1-888-925-2615).  Anywho, here we go!

PS:  I wouldn’t say I’m a “Super Fan”…

…I am just really committed to this show.

….some people say commitment is really important in a relationship

….I need more friends.