Hey there adoring fans (Michael Smith)!
Have you ever heard this phrase?
Oh my God! You’ve never seen _____________?! Are you kidding me?! What, do you live under a rock?!
You can insert a number of items in this blank, like:
Gone With The Wind, Star Wars, That youtube video of the kid all high on nitrous after he gets a tooth pulled, The Karate Kids, 2 Girls 1 Cup?
Well, that’s happened to me every time someone mentions….
So, in order to embrace my 80’s heritage (and now have something to contribute when my peers start talking about the stupid Goonies and I feel all left out and stuff) I rented…
If this movie is as good as everyone says it is, I figured I better get it in before the You Know What happens…or doesn’t happen….
Michael J. Fox wasn’t in this movie (as I had hoped…I mean, who makes an 80’s movie without him?)
But guess who was?…
(and some chick that looks just like Hermione Granger)
One of the Corey’s!
(He’s the one on the right. The dude on the left is actually the “quirky” sidekick girl that annoys all of the other characters once her glasses are broken…aka the perfect part written for ME!…only in my version it’s a musical and she tap dances.)
Then there’s that Asian kid who was in Indiana Jones and is really smart and good with gadgets (sooo Asian…just kidding…I’m not racist…whatever it’s a compliment).
Then we go into the strangely inappropriate relationship between the “fat kid” and the “sloth.”
It gets weirder…
And you thought Will and Grace was the first outwardly gay couple on TV. (Well, Will and Grace weren’t gay for each other. Will was gay for someone else….I can’t remember who…Jack? No, they weren’t gay for each other…maybe it was that cop…they were super cute together…I digress).
PS: I was right!
There was a really unattractive Frenchman…
In conclusion, the Goonies was actually really good! It took me back to the 80’s and to one of my favorite places in the world, Portland Oregon.
Here’s me and my Mom at Cannon Beach from like 5 years ago when I was doing a show…
(Hot! I know…. we’re holding a sand dollar and Ruby’s leash is around my neck…and I’m wearing overalls)
Here’s the Haystack from the movie…
So bring it on fellow children of the 80’s! Let’s share inside jokes about The Goonies. I’m not scared.
“Hey you guys!!!”