Day 30: Then he got down on one knee…

Hey there adoring fans (Erica Sweeny)!

Tonight was a wonderful night!  I got to spend it with my amazing friend Craig.  Craig and I have been friends for about 6 years now.  We’ve had many long and meaningful talks over (many) bottles of wine.  We’ve laughed and cried together. We’ve shared our hopes and dreams with each other.  And tonight, after some candlelit sushi (and sake) my friend Craig got down on one knee….

and gave me a box of business cards…

Yes, tonight ladies, gentlemen, and hobos…I got business cards!

You, see I’ve always wanted to have my own business cards.  What’s that you say?  No, I don’t own a business.  So what?  I can still feel cool handing a little piece of paper to total strangers to make myself feel important (and no, I don’t have issues with needing to feel important, what are you?  my shrink?).  Plus, if s*it goes down on December 21st, I will have extra paper around to take the place of toilet tissue or create a new form of  currency…  “Hey there scary demon from the deepest depths of Hell.  I’ll trade you 14 sixtysixdaysofsarah cards for your source of eternal life.”

I ordered the adorable “mini cards” (for one easy payment of  $19.99) last week, and they arrived today in this snazzy little box…

Since I don’t own a business, I just put the website for the blog on the back of the card (along with my social security number and hair sample).  Hopefully I will get some new fans and maybe some new friends (not that I don’t love my current friends…it just doesn’t hurt to make new friends…you never know when you’re going to have to create an army to fend off space zombies).

Day 8: Sushi and little Sarah

Tonight is the night that I have ALL YOU CAN EAT SUSHI!!

But before we begin…

Do, you remember when you were in ballet class when you were like 15, and the little 10 year old girls thought  you were super cool because you could do tripple pirouettes and you kind of had boobs?   No?  That’s not how you grew up?  Loser.  Well, that is exactly how I grew up, and tonight I’m going to write about my friend that I refer to as little Sarah.  Sidenote: I’m now realizing that some people may have misinterpreted the title of this blog (I’m not quite sure why sushi is sexual, but it’s not in this case.  It’s just delicious….not in a sexual way).

Anywho, at the age of 10, Little Sarah thought I was super cool and super grown up with my triple pirouettes,  sexy training bras, armpit hair, and (coincidentally) teen spirit deodorant.  Fast forward to 15 years later, and now it is she who is super cool and grown up with giant bazoongas, and it is I who might be the B-cupped  loser.  Little Sarah works for Fordham University, has health insurance (including Dental) and is toying with the idea of going to gradschool for Ethics!  Can you believe it?  Ethics?  And here I am, an unemployed actress (with a BA in dance, holla PPU!), spending my Saturday nights selling shots out of test tubes (red headed sluts anyone?), and using all of my free time on a bucket list of silly things like ‘all you can eat sushi’ and ‘Grey’s Anatomy marathons’.   Now I know that if/when the world ends, none of this matters, and Angels/Martians don’t care about health insurance and bazoongas in Heaven/Black Holes, BUT… if the world goes on… I hope that  the “little Sarah’s” of the world will grow and continue to be amazing grown-ups with big boobs,  hearts of gold, tolerances of sailors, and  become amazing women that we can all look up to and hope to be some day (single apocalyptic tear).

So that is why I brought little Sarah to…ALL YOU CAN EAT SUSHI!

I mean, ALL YOU CAN EAT SUSHI?!   How can you go wrong, ESPECIALLY when there is ALL YOU CAN DRINK SAKE involved!   (The world doesn’t need to hold onto all that excess sake, dead fish, and sticky-rice, anyway….I mean it all comes out in the wash…gross).

I’ve always wanted to spend an sensible Wednesday night stuffing my face with raw fish, while drinking chilled sake out of a teenie tiny cup until the button on my pants burst.   So tonight, it happened, with little Sarah.  Enjoy…

BTW, look at these links.  They are a silly flip book of me getting fatter, and/or me making music with sake jugs.

Plus….we had all you can eat Sushi and all you can Drink Sake for $26.95 at Hanami Sushi on 9th Ave!   I’m hammered!

Hmmm…am I intoxicated enough to try these weird fish slab on a rice pillow things?

Now this sushi looks good and all, but I just can’t help wondering how much cooler I would look with 2 chopsticks so I would resemble a silly walrus?

Don’t worry little Sarah! If you choke on that sake I will just follow the simple steps clearly posted on the wall behind you. Oh wait, nope, written in Japanese. Your s*it out of luck…
Check!

Another one bites the dust!