Day 8: Sushi and little Sarah

Tonight is the night that I have ALL YOU CAN EAT SUSHI!!

But before we begin…

Do, you remember when you were in ballet class when you were like 15, and the little 10 year old girls thought  you were super cool because you could do tripple pirouettes and you kind of had boobs?   No?  That’s not how you grew up?  Loser.  Well, that is exactly how I grew up, and tonight I’m going to write about my friend that I refer to as little Sarah.  Sidenote: I’m now realizing that some people may have misinterpreted the title of this blog (I’m not quite sure why sushi is sexual, but it’s not in this case.  It’s just delicious….not in a sexual way).

Anywho, at the age of 10, Little Sarah thought I was super cool and super grown up with my triple pirouettes,  sexy training bras, armpit hair, and (coincidentally) teen spirit deodorant.  Fast forward to 15 years later, and now it is she who is super cool and grown up with giant bazoongas, and it is I who might be the B-cupped  loser.  Little Sarah works for Fordham University, has health insurance (including Dental) and is toying with the idea of going to gradschool for Ethics!  Can you believe it?  Ethics?  And here I am, an unemployed actress (with a BA in dance, holla PPU!), spending my Saturday nights selling shots out of test tubes (red headed sluts anyone?), and using all of my free time on a bucket list of silly things like ‘all you can eat sushi’ and ‘Grey’s Anatomy marathons’.   Now I know that if/when the world ends, none of this matters, and Angels/Martians don’t care about health insurance and bazoongas in Heaven/Black Holes, BUT… if the world goes on… I hope that  the “little Sarah’s” of the world will grow and continue to be amazing grown-ups with big boobs,  hearts of gold, tolerances of sailors, and  become amazing women that we can all look up to and hope to be some day (single apocalyptic tear).

So that is why I brought little Sarah to…ALL YOU CAN EAT SUSHI!

I mean, ALL YOU CAN EAT SUSHI?!   How can you go wrong, ESPECIALLY when there is ALL YOU CAN DRINK SAKE involved!   (The world doesn’t need to hold onto all that excess sake, dead fish, and sticky-rice, anyway….I mean it all comes out in the wash…gross).

I’ve always wanted to spend an sensible Wednesday night stuffing my face with raw fish, while drinking chilled sake out of a teenie tiny cup until the button on my pants burst.   So tonight, it happened, with little Sarah.  Enjoy…

BTW, look at these links.  They are a silly flip book of me getting fatter, and/or me making music with sake jugs.

Plus….we had all you can eat Sushi and all you can Drink Sake for $26.95 at Hanami Sushi on 9th Ave!   I’m hammered!

Hmmm…am I intoxicated enough to try these weird fish slab on a rice pillow things?

Now this sushi looks good and all, but I just can’t help wondering how much cooler I would look with 2 chopsticks so I would resemble a silly walrus?

Don’t worry little Sarah! If you choke on that sake I will just follow the simple steps clearly posted on the wall behind you. Oh wait, nope, written in Japanese. Your s*it out of luck…

Another one bites the dust!

Day 6: The Debate

Dear adoring fans (that’s you Jon Parker)!

So, I know that we’re all a little riled up about the presidential debate this evening.  Some of you are having a hard time deciding who to pick for the next President, but guess what?   You don’t have to!  After December 22nd, our new leader will be the PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD, Marvin the Martian!

(or nothing is going to happen to us and you should probably research each candidate and find out which one you feel best represents your beliefs on how the Country should be run).  But more importantly, I scratched another goal off of my bucket list today!  (Woops!  Did the title of todays blog lead you to believe that I was going to write more one the debate? :))

Today I…..


Like many of you fancy people, I have been to a museum.  In fact, I’ve been to several (I am very fancy).  Most of them were in grade school where chaperones herded 30 of us snot-laden kids from exhibit to exhibit while clutching our brown bag lunches and purple crystal paper weights that we spent seventeen of our parents hard earned dollars on at the gift shop.  Then as I got older and started touring with musical theatre, I would go with my castmates to whichever museums or aquariums the town we were in was known for.  But every time I found myself in a museum, young or old, I would find myself having the same anxieties….

Was everyone but me bored with this exhibit and ready to move on?

I have to pee but no one else does.  Should I just hold it?

Is the stranger next to me done reading this plaque about the *Tanzanian Wallaby and just standing here judging how slow of a reader I am?

So today, I did it!  I went to the New York City Museum of Natural History all by myself and it was… AWESOME!    I looked at each exhibit for as long as I wanted, went to the bathroom anytime I felt the need to (every twenty-seven minutes, I drink a lot of water), learned that the Amazon is in South America (not Africa), and got lost and ended up reading about the fire exits in the coat check room.   All in all… great day!

I should probably let you know that I also ran into a scary exhibit…..

THE MAYANS!…who ever thought they would be there amongst the ancient people?

Here I am with the statue that was made to mark “the end of periods in the Mayan Calendar”.   Don’t worry, I spat on the ground and danced around backwards in a circle (otherwise known as “the snow dance” that we did in elementary school to make it snow so we would miss school the next day.  I think it still applies).

I also found myself amongst some other pretty cool non-end-of-the-world-predicting exhibits.

Here I am with the ancients Armenians.  So, it’s like I’m hanging out with the ancient Kardashians!  (well, half of the Kardashians.  I think their mom is Italian or something.)

Here are  some aztec artifacts.  The plaque said they go in this order, from left to right:

1. A woman giving birth.  2. A warrior at the ready. 3. A dreamer thinking of applying to theatre school.   4. Meditation.

And finally, another goal to cross off my list…..I fell in love!

It was a great day at the Museum, but I do need to make it back for the butterfly exhibit prior to the EOW.  Somebody’s gotta set em free!  (just kidding, I’m not some sort of butterfly evangelist…is that how you use the word evangelist?  Anyway, I won’t set them free.  Don’t call the police…or PETA).

PS: *The Tanzanian Wallaby does not exist.