Tonight is the night that I have ALL YOU CAN EAT SUSHI!!
But before we begin…
Do, you remember when you were in ballet class when you were like 15, and the little 10 year old girls thought you were super cool because you could do tripple pirouettes and you kind of had boobs? No? That’s not how you grew up? Loser. Well, that is exactly how I grew up, and tonight I’m going to write about my friend that I refer to as little Sarah. Sidenote: I’m now realizing that some people may have misinterpreted the title of this blog (I’m not quite sure why sushi is sexual, but it’s not in this case. It’s just delicious….not in a sexual way).
Anywho, at the age of 10, Little Sarah thought I was super cool and super grown up with my triple pirouettes, sexy training bras, armpit hair, and (coincidentally) teen spirit deodorant. Fast forward to 15 years later, and now it is she who is super cool and grown up with giant bazoongas, and it is I who might be the B-cupped loser. Little Sarah works for Fordham University, has health insurance (including Dental) and is toying with the idea of going to gradschool for Ethics! Can you believe it? Ethics? And here I am, an unemployed actress (with a BA in dance, holla PPU!), spending my Saturday nights selling shots out of test tubes (red headed sluts anyone?), and using all of my free time on a bucket list of silly things like ‘all you can eat sushi’ and ‘Grey’s Anatomy marathons’. Now I know that if/when the world ends, none of this matters, and Angels/Martians don’t care about health insurance and bazoongas in Heaven/Black Holes, BUT… if the world goes on… I hope that the “little Sarah’s” of the world will grow and continue to be amazing grown-ups with big boobs, hearts of gold, tolerances of sailors, and become amazing women that we can all look up to and hope to be some day (single apocalyptic tear).
So that is why I brought little Sarah to…ALL YOU CAN EAT SUSHI!
I mean, ALL YOU CAN EAT SUSHI?! How can you go wrong, ESPECIALLY when there is ALL YOU CAN DRINK SAKE involved! (The world doesn’t need to hold onto all that excess sake, dead fish, and sticky-rice, anyway….I mean it all comes out in the wash…gross).
I’ve always wanted to spend an sensible Wednesday night stuffing my face with raw fish, while drinking chilled sake out of a teenie tiny cup until the button on my pants burst. So tonight, it happened, with little Sarah. Enjoy…
BTW, look at these links. They are a silly flip book of me getting fatter, and/or me making music with sake jugs.
Plus….we had all you can eat Sushi and all you can Drink Sake for $26.95 at Hanami Sushi on 9th Ave! I’m hammered!
Hmmm…am I intoxicated enough to try these weird fish slab on a rice pillow things?
Now this sushi looks good and all, but I just can’t help wondering how much cooler I would look with 2 chopsticks so I would resemble a silly walrus?
Don’t worry little Sarah! If you choke on that sake I will just follow the simple steps clearly posted on the wall behind you. Oh wait, nope, written in Japanese. Your s*it out of luck…