Hey there adoring fans (Caitlin Maura)!

If we go back eons (or just 3 months ago) you’ll notice that I have a little thing (in an admiring way…not a gay way…not that I would throw her out of bed because she would probably just lay there saying hilarious things all night…and bring along a sandwich) for the one and only

Tina Fey…

In fact, one of my goals before the End of the World (this blog originally began as a bucket list of things I wanted to do before D-day/December 21st…I also tried my first raw oyster…impressed?)  was to meet her.  I even went so far as to send her an invitation to Thanksgiving dinner in the shape of a

hand turkey…

 

And when that didn’t work I spent an entire Sunday afternoon  at the restaurant where a friend had told me she saw her having brunch one time…

She never showed.

(Side note: You’ll notice I wore a very calculated outfit in the hopes that we would be wearing the same sweater so I could say “Hey!  Same sweater!  Did you plan this..wink wink?  Let’s be friends.  I wear glasses for distance.”)

And thanks to a treaty made with the Space Zombies, the world did not end ( everyone knows it was the Space Zombies that were after us…not the Mayans…duh) and I now had an infinite amount of time to meet Tina Fey, find her on Facebook, and wear those little heart necklaces where her’s says “Best” and mine says “Friends 4 Eva”.  With no deadline in sight, I could finally relax.  I turned 30, reevaluated my life and started making new goals for myself.  I re-read The Secret and   created a vision board of all of the things I wanted for my future, and as you can see…

Tina was still there, right at the top!

(and oddly enough, the Family Guy episode featuring Ryan Reynolds came on that night…his picture is on the right had cork-board-flower petal because he is going to be my pool boy…when I get really rich and buy a pool…for my rooftop…of my very own Manhattan Skyscraper…that only has 4 floors because I’m kinda afraid of heights…)

 I added in some more Improv classes to my schedule, continued to work on my screenplay, and started saving my pennies so that soon I could take and acting for TV and Film course.  All of which are things I believe Tina would be proud of.  I kept trucking along and one day, as luck would have it, I got the call.  My friend Sarah’s husband Andrew was a personal trainer in the city and just happened to be the personal-trainer-of-James-Lipton’s-wife’s-boss (say that 5 times fast).  She had been offered tickets for a very special Inside the Actors Studio, but was going to be out of town and asked Andrew if he had any friends that might be interested. And lucky for me Andrew is a big fan of my blog,

so…

on Tuesday March 26th, I was invited to a filming of Inside the Actors Studio with guest artist…my hero…Tina Fey!

And like any good student (stalker) I took some notes that I would like to share with you.

 Here are my favorite quotes from the evening:

“Only in mid 90’s comedy does an obedient white girl from the suburbs count as diversity.”  -when asked to interview for a writing position at SNL, as Lorne was looking for diversity.

“Do you want me, or do you want (me to do) Will Ferrell’s me?” – James Lipton when asked to perform as himself in a film.

“Fuck it.  They can’t fire me.  I don’t work here anymore.” –when approached by SNL to do Sarah Palin.

“Writing is tedious, painful, and boring until it’s done.  Then it’s Thrilling.” – when asked about her process.

“These sketches were not just funny, they were history.” – James Lipton on Tina’s Sarah Palin sketches.

“He’s a hilarious character actor in a leading man’s skull.” – when asked about working with Alec Baldwin.

“They have to talk fast and not paraphrase.” – on auditioning actors for 30 Rock.

“Shhhh…don’t speak.“ – what her father said to her after a stranger had stabbed her in the face.

“Shitballs.” – when asked what her favorite curse word was.

“Your job is to be a director.  Your job is not to teach people that women can be directors” – when asked about women working in a man’s world.

“Talent is not sexually transmitted.  You don’t have to have sex with someone talented to get talent.” – when giving advice to the female acting majors.

“You’re roommates with Oprah!” – when asked what she hoped God would say to her when he met her at the Pearly Gates.

“Don’t eat Lean Cuisines.” – more advice about working with men.

“The nice thing about improv is you learn how to fail.  Five times out of ten it’s going to be terrible.  Failing in front of an audience.  You know it’s not going to kill you.” – on the benefits of Improv.

“Clearly defined characters from the beginning.  Give everyone a clear point of view.  4 white girls living in an apartment.  Not so clear.” – on the success of writing for 30 Rock.

“Laughter” – when asked what was her turn on.

“Cowardice” – when asked what was her turn off.

“If I was just an actress none of this would have happened.” – the reason that I get a lady boner for her.

And just a few other fun facts

Did you know…?

• In High School Tina wrote an anonymous comedy column for her school newspaper.
• She met Amy Poehler in an Improv Company called Improv Olympic.
• Darrell Hammond was actually the first SNL player to try James Lipton, but when it bombed Will Ferrell asked if he could have a stab at it.
• Lorne Michael’s doorman was the first to offer that Tina Fey looked an awful lot like Sarah Palin.

Although I did not get to actually meet Tina (yet), I had a wonderful time listening to her speak.  She is everything I hoped she would be.  She likes the word shitballs and has done a damn good job for us women in the industry.  Oh yeah, and my vision board worked mutha fu*k@’s!

Shout out to my amazing friends Sarah Marie Jenkins Briedis and Andrew Briedis!  You are my heroes!

(And that giant line of people are all of the students that waited outside for 6 hours in order to see the filming.  Which makes me glad that I am 30 and thanks to Andrew and Sarah, a VIP!)

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