Have you ever had one of those days where you realize that your life is not going in the direction you want? Well maybe it’s going in the direction that you wanted for the last 20 years but all of a sudden it doesn’t seem quite as fulfilling as it did before? And then you realize that in order to change the path your going down, you should probably have a panic attack and decide you need to change everything about yourself all at once and then drink a bottle of wine and start googling things like:
“How to make a living out of the things that you love to do.”
“How to take a break from Musical Theatre (that you’ve spent your entire adult life focussing on) and not feel bad about it.”
“How to start living less like a teenage slob and more like a 30 year old woman”
“How to come to terms with the fact that you are probably going to die alone…well not completely alone if you’re surrounded by 27 ferrets…(but then realize that you’re a strong independent woman and you don’t need anyone to make your life complete… until you start watching movies like The Notebook and Sweet Home Alabama…and then you google ‘Top 27 cute ferret names'”
“How to write a screenplay.”
“How to get some damned health insurance (and maybe some dental while your at it because that back left molar feels weird and looks a little grey.)”
“How to lose 10lbs”
“How to NOT drink 2 bottles of wine every night (except Saturdays, cause that’s when you drink a dozen Corona’s and Jack Daniel’s shots…at work…which is probably not helping you lose 10lbs you fat moron).”
“How to save enough money so that you can afford this new shiny computer that you financed, be a bridesmaid in your best friend’s wedding (who is getting married in Illinois this summer and the dress alone costs $211), and I don’t know, save for retirement because ferret food is expensive.”
All of these thoughts came rushing at me like an angry mob carrying pitchforks and those big sticks where the ends of them are lit on fire …torches!…that’s the word I’m looking for, torches!… on January 4th, the day after I turned 30. Over the last few days, I’ve calmed myself down (xanax) and come to terms with the fact that although I have a ton of new aspirations, my life is pretty good right now, and I’ll be ok if I don’t get everything done in one day. It’s time for some baby steps. I read in an Anthony Robbins book once, Awaken the Giant Within, (whatever, I read self-help books sometimes, well, I start self-help books and get about half way through before I get bored and start drinking wine sometimes) that…if you do something to better your life every single day, your life is gonna, duh, get better*! I also came across this quote in a women’s magazine (I don’t remember which one, “Self”, “Women’s Health”, “Eat Right and Workout you idiot so you can stop buying all of these magazines because they all say the same thing just in different colored fonts”, that said “it takes 66 days to form a habit**” which I think is really poignant given the name of my beloved blog here.
So that’s what the new Sixty-six days of Sarah is about. Each day I will try to do something to better my life and hopefully 66 days will go by and I will acquire myself a nice little habit and an even nicer little life…smiley face!
*that Tony Robbins quote isn’t really a quote because I didn’t feel like looking it up, but I’m pretty sure he said that….minus the “duh”.
**says Professor Jane Wardle, of University College London, who carried out the study with Dr Phillippa Lally.