Day 275: How I fixed my vibrator….

Hey there adoring fans (Tina Michelle Smith)!

I did it!  I fixed my vibrator!  It took a little time, research, and elbow grease, but now it’s up and raring to go!  What was wrong with it?  It was on the wrong frequency, duh.  Now I can receive pleasure all the time!  At night, in the morning, in the elevator, walking my dog…What’s that?  Oh, you thought I was talking about a sexual pleasure stick.  Gross!   I’m talking about my thoughts, hopes, and dreams because…

This week on sixtysixdaysofsarah

Sarah manifests!


Yep, I said manifest!   Does that creep you out?  A little too hippy dippy?  I can just hear my Dad harumphing  now.  “First Obamacare and now my own daughter believing in devil mind control!  It’s all that Hannah Montana’s fault!”  But for all of you non-believers out there, think of a time when you ran into someone you haven’t seen in a while at the supermarket and uttered, “Oh my god, Steve, I was just thinking about you!  What a coincidence!”  Thinking about Steve made him appear!  This is the power of manifestation.

I should probably mention the first rule of manifestation now…

Manifestation Rule #1:

You have to drink the Kool-Aid.

So manifesting is basically using your thoughts to attract what you want.  The best way to do this is to ask the universe for what you want, and then simply believe that it’s on it’s way.  It sounds like craziness, I know.  But if you believe it works, it will work.  It’s not a whole “seeing is believing” thing, it’s a “believe and you will see” sort of thing.  You definitely need to believe in the universe (or some higher power like God) too.  So if you’re not ready to drink the Kool-Aid, then you’re not ready to manifest…which is totes fine.  My next post will probably include a few fart jokes, so check back in next week if you’re interested.

  “Sarah, you’ve gone completely off topic!  I opened this blog post because I thought you were going to teach me how to fix my vibrator?!”  You’re right theoretical voice!  I’ll share with you what I’ve learned about fixing vibrators…your manifestation vibrators!  See what I did there?  (If you are totally bummed because your sex toy is still broken visit…even if your vibrator is not broken do yourself a favor and go to this link…amazing!)  

First you need to understand your vibrator.  See, the world and all of it’s stuff is made up of energy.  I’m made of energy, you’re made up of energy, this computer is made up of energy, and our neighborhood hobo’s  garbage-can-house is made up of energy.  All of these energies are vibrating at different frequencies, and in order to attract the things that you want, you have to set your vibrator to that frequency.  If you want abundance and happiness, you need to be vibrating at a high positive frequency.  If you want to attract poopsicles and despair, vibrate at a low negative frequency.  Now that you understand your vibrator a little better, it’s time to start talking to the universe.

Manifestation Rule #2

Don’t ask for apples when you really want orange stoli.

To properly manifest, what you’re asking the universe for must be aligned with what you really want.  For me, this was a problem. I wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted.  I knew I wanted money, so that I didn’t have to spend my free time waiting tables, and that I wanted a fun and creative career, but I wasn’t sure what I wanted that career to be.


Manifestation Rule #2.5

Be Specific 

As you all can tell from a lot of my recent blog posts, my new career path is a big thing I’ve been struggling with.  So I decided to finally figure it out.  I took some time (almost an entire day), and I acknowledged that what I really am passionate about is blogging and working for Improvolution (my improv company here in NYC  So that’s what I’m going to do and I’m going to have two great careers at once dag nabbit!  (I’ll speak to how I came up with this decision in a another post, you know the one where I’ll include fart jokes).  Now I need to figure out how to make these 2 careers bigger and better.  I just wish I was more tech savvy.  Then I could really make my blog spectacular along with our Improv company’s website and social media.  I knew what to ask the universe for.


Manifestation Rule # 3

It’ll happen, just work hard and open your damn eyes!

Since coming to my career realizations, I’ve really started to working harder than I ever have before.  I’ve spent hours writing and researching marketing.  I’ve surrounded myself with both successful and ambitious people.  I got up before 10am almost every day!  Then things started happening.  Yesterday I got an email from (a website dedicated to teaching women about money and investing…Ladies you should totally sign up for their newsletter…they break things down into terms even I can understand) telling it’s readers about a new company that teaches coding to the technologically retarded to help build better websites.  I clicked on the link and signed up for the free 10 day tech bootcamp. Free knowledge!

Last week, I got called in for an interview out of the blue with Physique 57, a fitness studio for the really rich, and/or famous women to workout (Zooey Deschanel, Kelly Ripa and Demi Moore among others).  A friend (shout out to  Courtney!) had passed along my info for a reception position, and yesterday I had my 3rd interview…where I met with the CEO!  I spent 15 minutes with a woman who made her dream of teaching fitness into a multimillion dollar company!  And it went great!  I could potentially be working with women who turn dreams into reality, by helping people!  Getting paid $15/hr to see how a successful multimillion dollar company operates…are you kidding me?!  Knowledge!  Plus a free gym membership!  Thanks universe!

Manifestation Rule #4

Always thank the Universe.


 ‘Nough said.

Manifestation Rule #5

Child, the Universe is busy!   It ain’t got no time to filter!

When you think things like “I wish I wasn’t late all the time.” And,  “I want the universe to stop making me late.”  All the universe hears is late, late, late, and that’s all you’re gonna get. Instead, try believing that you have all the time in the world, and it will come. As a formerly late person, I switched my frequency to always having more than enough time.  A helpful and fun tip?  Whenever you feel like you might be late, use this little ditty from the Rolling Stones, “Time…is on my side…yes it is!”  I swear, every time I sing this to myself a train pulls up to the subway platform.  You gotta ask for the positive, not ask to not have the negative.   Like I said, the Universe ain’t got time for dat!

And last but not least,

Manifestation Rule #6

Just like HPV, believe that you already have it.

The best and most easy way for things to come to you, is to believe that you already have them.  Feel as if you already have that five thousand dollars.  Don’t go and spend five thousand dollars that you don’t have of course.  But feel what it would be like to not be worried about money.  To know that it’s on it’s way.  One of my favorite quotes of Gabrielle Bernstein, the Spirit Junkie, is “Those who are sure of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety.”  If you want a high powered career, get up, put on your power suit and get out of the house as if you already had that career.  Don’t watch 14 hours of netflix a day in your pajamas drinking $3 cabernet (not that I’ve ever done that…for the whole month of April…).

That’s all you need to know!  Happy manifesting!

PS:  As you can see, I really love the idea of manifesting.  I believe in it one hundred percent and it’s because of a lot of the self-helpy research I’ve done from my fav power women:

Jen Sincerno, Your a Badass…How to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life

Gabrielle Bernstein, the Spirit Junkie,

and Marie Forleo, business and life coach

Now manifest away!