Hey there adoring fans (Jon Parker…sending good vibes your way)!
So, how about that President Obama and his speech huh? He’s really into education these days. Which brings me to a very important topic that I’d like to discuss tonight…
“How to have Brunch with your high school girlfriends while living 4 hours away?”
It’s the biggest question rocking the American Household right now (gun control who?), and I am here to show you how to conquer it.
All you need are:
1. Cellphone with camera (if your cellphone does not have a camera…you’re probably not a blog reader. You probably can’t even read!…Sorry grandma…I know you can read…yes I do remember that time you gave me a bath in a bucket in the backyard…maybe if you had a cellphone with a camera at the time we could post that photo right here to make this post more interesting…I know it’s not your fault…cellphones didn’t exist then…nor did sanitary buckets for washing babies).
2. A few props.
3. Jedi-girl-mind (I’ve never seen Star Wars but I have seen Spaceballs…and what I’m referring to is the ability to know what your highschool girl friends may or may not be chatting about over brunch…and being prepared for a Warner Bros. trademarked frog to rip through someones stomach for an adorable song and dance intermission…if you haven’t seen Spaceballs disregard that last part….and if you have seen Spaceballs, I may be completely wrong about the whole Warner Bros frog thing as I haven’t seen that movie in 25 years…yes I was 5 when I saw Spaceballs….I thought it was Star Wars until I was 13…when I got corrected about how gross Pizza-the-Hut was).
Anywho, here’s how it went…
“Hey girls! I’m so bummed I couldn’t make it to brunch, but I have to go sell my wares (shots) tonight.”
“Oh my God, you ran into Jason Amott* where?”
“I am so excited for Brittany’s wedding too!”
“Oh wait….sorry…I think that was Kelly’s save-the-date…hold on”
“I’m so excited for Brittany’s wedding too!! PS: What’s it like to have health insurance?”
“Oooo April, can I steal a frie?”
“You guys, this has been the best brunch ever. What’s that Brittany? Oh yes, I will need a plus one…no I’m not bringing anyone…I just want to be sure that you estimate the open bar consumption correctly…and some extra leg room…and yes I will lead the electric slide…duh!”
“Party Hearty, Rock’n’Roll,
Drink Bacardi, Smoke a Bowl,
Sex is good and life is fun,
We’re the class of 2001!”
What’s that Holly? Yes I did steal that poem from the class of ’98…and just changed the word “great” to the word “fun” for rhyming purposes… And no, we did not do any of the other things listed in that poem besides listen to Rock’n’Roll. I heart you Mom! Go lions!
“We’re gonna need a bigger coozie**…”
*Jason Amott is interchangeable with anyone that we went to school with that one of us may have run into at an Applebee’s or CheeseCake Factory.
Here’s a picture of Jason and some other high school friends, “Hey fella’s!”
“Gangs of Upper-class Maryland Suburbs.”
**Coozies are these beer holders that my friend Kelly and other Marylander’s are obsessed with. Go ahead, ask a Marylander to look in their purse and they will more than likely have one…and may more than likely call 911. Marylander’s don’t play.
To sign off, here is a pic of my BFF Kelly (who received and passed along all of these amazing pics to my other GF’s at brunch) at our high school graduation party…
*If any of you would like to subscribe to my blog to get alerted when I write new posts so that you don’t have to rely on Facebook or that batman like shadow that I post in the sky, please do. I think there’s a ‘subscribe’ button somewhere.*