Hey there adoring fans (Mark from the Oyster Bar)!
Jeez! This Hurricane Sandy business is really putting a damper on my bucket list. All of the trains in Manhattan are down (so I can’t go anywhere beyond a 10 block radius) Central Park is closed (Ruby will only pee on grass, so I keep having to pick up piles of leaves and stack them on top of each other to simulate a lawn of sorts), and my stock of red wine has really taken a hit. So yesterday, after spending a solid 48 hours (minus doggy bathroom time) in the apartment. I got my ass up and walked to the Harlem Tavern (which was surprisingly rocking) and I…
ORDERED A WHISKEY NEAT…AND LOOKED COOL DOING SO!
I’ve always wanted to do this, but never really had the courage to do it on my own. Not knowing much about whiskey (besides doing shots of Jack Honey out of my coworkers belly button) I asked the bartender what he recommended that was good to sip but wouldn’t take all of my hard earned one dollar bills. He offered me a heavy pour of 12 year Jameson.
My secret plan worked! The best way to look cool while drinking whiskey is to wear a fedora!
Now here’s where the love part comes in…
While trying very hard to resist pounding the drink in one swift gulp, I noticed I was sitting between 2 gentlemen that had arrived at the Harlem Tavern alone. I thought “Hmm? Maybe this whiskey and fedora combo would give me some extra sex appeal?” so I decided to try my luck at flirting. Would I go with the tall sexy tattooed guy on my left? Or the cute guy with Harry Potter glasses on my right? I “accidentally” bumped elbows with tattoo guy on my left, but only got a destracted head nod (don’t be jealous of my flirting skills), so I went for the guy on the right. I made some silly comment about the soccer game on TV (bingo, he’s British!) and ended up having an hour or so of great conversation (tons of penis jokes). He fit all of my requirements in a man. He was older than me but not too old (been there done that), taller than me but not too tall (been there done that too), and was funny but not funnier than me (because that would be physically impossible). As I got more intoxicated from the delicious drink (I never thought I would actually enjoy sipping whiskey, I just wanted to look badass), this fellow and I shared laughs, lingering glances, and a bucket of fries. By the time I finished my drink (plus 4-7 beers) I got up the nerve for my signature line…
“So, I’m wasted. I gotta go home. Do you want my phone number or something?” (I know, what you’re thinking. How can this suave poetic girl still possibly be single?).
As I grabbed a pen to write down my phone number, I heard the magical words I hear all too often…
“Hey, it was really nice meeting you…but…I sort of have a girlfriend. I mean you’re awesome and all. Oh man, this is awkward….we could be facebook friends?”
I stumbled home with my new found love for whiskey and without my dignity (and the $68 that I spent on my ‘effing bar tab), and I came to realize that falling in love before the world ends (or ever) is really unlikely. But you know what? A girls gotta try!
Sarah… you are hilarious. I look forward to… (get out calculator, PPU dance grad here also) 66-14 = 52 more days of entertainment!
What a Hilarious story . I’m sorry you didn’t find love, But it did make for a great story ( for me, For you ,not so much) I’m laughing so hard.
Sarah, your blog has been my source of entertainment for the night and I really look forward to hearing more about your adventures towards inner peace. You may have even inspired me to start a blog of my own…..thats funny. Who am I kidding? Im just going to stick to a daily photo challenege and see how that goes. By the way, you might not remember me, but we shared a few of Rons classes at PPU. Random note…I’ve always loved your hair, its gorgeous!