Hey adoring fans (Craig and my Dad)!

Just getting off work and wanted to make sure I logged in.  Today, what I wanted to try before the EOW was to get a pedicure for no particular reason.  People do it all of the time.  Rich ladies, not so rich ladies, rich dudes, not so rich dudes get pedicures all the time.  I, myself have only been pedicured in the past for big “totally worth it” reasons like weddings, vacations, or Grecian Sandal modeling (I’ve never Grecian Sandal modeled ).  Stay tuned to how I feel about it.

The next day….

Alright.

Here’s how I feel about pedicures for no reason.

They’re dumb.

My toes are now callus free (I’m gonna miss those guys), cuticle free (I could take or leave those guys) 8 toes are painted purple and $38 are missing from my wallet. 8 toes you ask?   I say 8 because both my pinky toes have that weird thing where there’s not really a toenail there and in the past I just painted the patch of skin where the toenail should be so that no one would notice.  I don’t know who would really care.  I’m pretty sure there is no such thing as the toenail police, but if there were I’m sure they’d have bigger fish to fry than going after my lack of pinky toenails.  I’ve seen some pretty gnarly toe nails out there that the toenail authorities would be more interested in policing.  Like that hobo that lives in the  subway station downtown who wears a full snow suit year round that covers everything except his thick, yellowing toenails which are on display because he converted his snow boots into peeptoes…which you and I know are SO last season.  I digress.  Back to the pedicure.  What I did love about the experience was opting for the extra 10 minute foot massage.  I just closed my eyes and imagined that my sweet little asian lady was and oiled up UFC fighter name Lars.  Totally worth $10.  So from now until the apocalypse I shall only get pedicures when necessary, but go into nail salons for lubed up foot massages whenever I damn well please.