Hey there adoring fans (Michael Smith)!

Today, April 3rd, is not only National Chocolate Mousse day, and No Housework day (nailing it!) but more importantly it is my dog Ruby’s 7th birthday!  Because Ruby is my best friend (yeah, so what?!  My dog is my best friend.  There are plenty of awesome people with animal best friends: Timmy and Lassie, Ross and Marcel, Siegfried/Roy and Montecore, Steve Irwin and sting ray…) I’ve decided to take my blog readers on a little stroll down memory lane.

A Thank You note for my dearest Ruby

Thank you to every Regional Theatre in America for not hiring me during the summer of 2006, giving me more time to raise a puppy and less time to send hate mail to every Regional Theatre in America in 2006.

Thank you petfinder.com for charging too much for Brussels Griffons (which is what I originally wanted)  and thank you for advertising the basically same but slightly weirder looking Affenpinschers for a more reasonable price.  Thank you also for introducing me to a lovely breeder who posted this photo of the cutest puppy on planet earth who seems to be blowing me a kiss…and thank you to all of the middle aged men who tipped heavily in exchange for fake phone numbers at the bar I was working at so I could afford her.

Thank you Mom and Dad for thinking that I put seven hundred and thirty dollars down on a lemon, and then for driving from Virginia to Ohio to transport the lemon and (more importantly) to prove to me that the puppy I had put a down payment on probably only had 3 legs, 1 eye, and 8 days to live.  And thank you for being wrong.  I love you!

Thank you adorable Ruby for making me the happiest gal in Harlem, and thank you to all of my friends and family for letting me have hair the color of a yellow highlighter for so very long.

Thank you Ruby for also being wee-wee pad trained from ages 9 weeks- 12 weeks old…

And then for forgetting that you were wee-wee pad trained and  peeing all over my suitcase immediately after this picture was taken.

As you’ve grown older…

Thank you for putting up with all of the questionable outfits that I’ve made you wear…

…and thank you for putting up with all of the questionable outfits that I’ve worn…

Thank you for sharing my affinity for the horrible horrible Twilight movies…

…and day drinking.

Thank you for helping me fold my laundry…

and make my bed.

Thank you for liking some of my friends…

and not murdering others in their sleep…

Thank you for saving me from that scary lobster we saw in Central Park that one time…

and for chowing down on some human feces you found in the park the next day…

Yes, my Ruby Pubey.  I want to thank you for all of the joy that you’ve brought into my life.  Even as you sit here on the bed barking out the window at people on the street while I’m not paying attention to you because I’m trying to write an effing heartfelt letter to you on your birthday which you can’t read anyway and would probably prefer me to just take you outside so you can bark at the street people in person because why would any dog ever want a blog post as a birthday gift as opposed to some primo people harassing or at least a pig ear for God’s sake!

We’ve had quite the 7 years together.  Here’s to 7 more!

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